thoughts of a fledgling....

I did not shed a tear when I left college yet I yearn for it the most right now. I still remember the day when we were supposed to leave our campus forever, the day unlike others begun at 5.45 A.M. in the morning with me getting up to see off a friend leaving then. There were I think hardly 15 people left in the whole campus and it was so eerie to be there at such a time with the juice centre closed down, the nescafe shut, and even the monginis closing at 8 P.M. I know quite unbelievable. Coming back to the day I was going to leave the campus, after the goodbyes, I went back to the hostel, had a bath and was impatient to leave the campus not realising how sorely I am going to miss it. Everything packed it was time to bid adieu to my room, my second home for the past three years and then I left, never looking back once, glad it was over.
Few of my friends said you won't miss college as in not the buildings just the people we met in there but what I miss the most is the people in those buildings. I can't believe I am not going back to stay, to plan outings on weekends, to just sip Ice tea at nescafe, to the walks at night, no cribbing about mess food, no trips to the SC cafe, no hanging out at monginis till it closses or hovering over the foodstalls in WAVES, QUARK, etc. etc. I am so jealous of those who get to go back to enjoy college once again with all the enthusiasm they can for now they have seen the real world....
Maybe I miss college beacuse it always feels so insecure outside out here , about not knowing how things are supposed to be, about not knowing how one should do things the right way... Being the second batch in a new college it was us who set the standards about how things should be done... noone to check us , maybe later it got changed but when we were getting acquainted with our college there was hardly any apprehension. Maybe I miss college because I am just out of it and it will take time for me to get used to this new found unsettling feeling about being stuck nowhere at all..... Maybe after two this whole year of PS I won't miss college as m,uch as I do now. But right now everything is measured in terms of how it happened in college, sharing a room with two or for that matter even one other person is unthinkable for we have been spoilt by giving single rooms since our very first semester, sleeping at 11 in the night is almost next to impossible for we are used to go to sleep when we hear birds chirping outside, even good food surprises us as we are used to mess food, sitting in a small cubicle for 7 hours irritates us for we are not even used to sitting 50 mins in one place, and more importantly keeping quiet more than four-fifths of those seven hours makes me wonder was I ever called a loquacious person. I can't even write down the thousands of other differences which I wish to write for it is almost time for my bus back home , to go and go through a word list, eat food , sleep, get ready in the morning and again come back for seven hours of pondering what made me come here.....