Monday, May 31, 2010

Home....

Its too hot.. its too cold... its unsafe... But still I cannot stop but love Delhi. Its been my home for 18 years, and every moment I spend away from home, my heart aches for it...

I haven't been home for the past 5 years and won't be for the next 5 years. It all seems so unfair to me. I am not a sentimental fool, still the thought of leaving home and seeing my family for 20 days in a year for the next 5-6 years tears my heart apart, so much so that I want to rethink my career choices. I have always not thought much of people who sacrifice their career for family, but now that I am in a similar situation, I know how wrong I was.

Anatole France once said and I quote " All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Its so strange, I applied to grad school knowing fully well, I have to stay away from home for another gruelling 5 years. I know grad school is going to be an experience of a life time still I do not want to leave.

Its your home, where you learnt everything, where you became you. What are you supposed to do, just move on... I miss bapa's constant reminder to eat fruits , exercise regularly, mummy's constant reminder to study hard, show less anger, drink milk, have medicines, talk politely, pray every evening, non ending fights with brother, back answering him till he has no retort left, fighting over the last leg piece of tandoori chicken... I miss home. I don't want to be away.
The though of cuddling up to mummy when sleeping, going to Mother Dairy with bapa, fighting with Rinkun for remote even when nothing is on TV just gives me unparalleled happiness.

After all, everything we do is to achieve a happy life.

3 comments:

Chaitanya Chintaluri said...

I agree, Everything we do is to be happy. Also i believe, happiness is not awaiting us in the distant future, nor is a lump of gold waiting to be achieved, happiness is now and here, in this moment, we just are blind to see which...

Happiness is there, where we often overlook, what we mistake a rambling, Inside memoirs of routines. Conceited.

Keep Writing. All the best!

Abha said...

:) Beautiful!

Ved Pragyan said...

@ Chaitanya I am happy just saddened by the fact that I have to live away from family... there is no rule that says we cant feel two emotions at once.